Now that you are familiar with the main characteristics of each of the 5 Chairs, next time you are triggered by someone or something, I invite you to remember this:


You always have a choice about HOW to respond. Stop and think. Then choose the most appropriate and productive behavior for the situation.

To help you practice your CHOICE-MAKING ask yourself these questions on a regular basis:

  • How am I feeling and what do I need right now?
  • What are my choices right now?
  • Am I in control of my emotions, or are they controlling me?
  • What impact am I having on the situation Iu2019m in and the people around me?
  • Am I willing to have a difficult conversation to clear the tension in the air? If not, why not?
  • What would my best self do in that situation?
  • What might people be saying about me at the moment?

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