As a professional, you are likely familiar with the saying, “People don’t leave companies, they leave bosses.” This couldn’t be truer, and navigating a difficult boss can be a real challenge. But what if you could handle any boss with confidence and be a “Behavioral Ninja” in the workplace? This is where the concept of “The 5 Chairs” comes in.

 About The 5 Chairs

 The 5 Chairs model is a magnificent tool (if I do say so myself) for improving communication by helping us to understand our own behavior and perspectives, as well as those of others. 

 The Red Chair (Jackal: Attack) represents our tendency to judge and blame others, while the Yellow Chair (Hedgehog: Self Doubt)  represents our blaming of self and others, and fear of rejection. The Green Chair (Meerkat: WAIT) encourages us to be curious and mindful, while the Blue Chair (Dolphin: Detect) helps us to become more self-aware and assertive. Finally, the Purple Chair (Giraffe: Connect) is about empathy and understanding, and deeply connecting with others.

 By using the 5 Chairs model, we can become more conscious of our own behavior and reactions, and choose to respond in a way that is more constructive and empathetic. 

 For example, if we tend to default to the Red or Yellow Chair, we can try to shift our perspective to the Blue or Purple Chair, where we can be more open and understanding.

 Ultimately, the 5 Chairs can help us to improve our communication and relationships with others by encouraging us to become more self-aware and empathetic. By understanding and respecting different perspectives and experiences, we can build stronger and more meaningful connections with the people around us.

Is Your Boss a Jackal?

We’ve all had bosses who make us want to pull our hair out, and then there are those who are a breath of fresh air. Regardless of the type of boss you have, it’s important to know how to navigate workplace dynamics and communicate effectively with them. That’s where “The 5 Chairs” comes in.

 What is a Jackal, exactly?

 Think of a Jackal. What comes to mind? A small, cunning, opportunistic scavenger that fiercely defends its territory from intruders. Then think of a Giraffe. What do you envisage? A tall, graceful, noble soul, protector of the Savannah and keeper of the biggest heart of all land animals.

 The Jackal represents our more judgmental thoughts and hostile behaviors whilst the Giraffe represents our more understanding behaviors which generate harmony and well-being. Which animal, in your opinion, is more dominant in our world?

 Jackal behaviors are generally negative, uncivil, unproductive, hostile and aggressive and bring toxicity into our workplaces and homes. The list is long and we ourselves indulge in many of them on a regular basis!

 Before you judge you Boss a Jackal, you might want to examine your own behaviors — especially around judgment.

 The Attack chair’s purpose is often to take control, demonstrate our correctness, and exert power over others. Society’s polarized views of good versus bad, black versus white, and intelligence versus stupidity, especially in competitive cultures, feed into this mentality, creating a “you” versus “me” outlook rather than a “we” mindset. This often leads to conflict and separation. 

 To combat Attack behaviors, we must carefully monitor our thoughts and language every day.

To subdue the Jackal, become a “Behavioral Ninja”

Becoming a “Behavioral Ninja” means having the skills and awareness to effectively communicate with any type of boss (or any person for that matter), no matter their personality or communication style. Here are the steps to become a “Behavioral Ninja”:

 To become a Behavioral Ninja, one must learn how to manage emotions, regulate attitudes and behaviors, communicate with clarity and impact, handle difficult conversations, share feedback constructively, listen with empathy, transform conflict, and cultivate better relationships. The 5 Chairs Intro Course details these topics and helps individuals master these skills.

 Effective communication is essential in all aspects of our lives, particularly in the workplace where it can be the difference between success and failure. The 5 Chairs Method helps individuals master their communication skills and become a Behavioral Ninja.

 Words are powerful and the ones we choose can reflect our intentions. Choosing the right words is important as they can affect the way we are perceived. For example, using judgmental language can offend others and lead to misinterpretation. The 5 Chairs Method provides a way to “clean up” our language and communicate more accurately with one another.

 The 5 Chairs involves observing without evaluating, which is the highest form of human intelligence according to Jidda Krishnamurti. By focusing on observable behavior rather than personal interpretation or evaluation, our perception of reality becomes more accurate. This is useful in reducing the risk of misinterpreting and misevaluating what we are experiencing.

 The impact of using The 5 Chairs in the workplace is significant. The higher the level of toxic behaviors generated, the lower the level of productivity and the greater likelihood of poor morale. By mastering The 5 Chairs Method and becoming a Behavioral Ninja, individuals can create a positive work environment that fosters productivity, goodwill, and success.

 Mastering The 5 Chairs Method can help individuals become Behavioral Ninjas and communicate more effectively in the workplace. By using factual and observable language, individuals can reduce the risk of misinterpretation and misevaluation. The 5 Chairs Intro Course provides a comprehensive approach to mastering the necessary skills for effective communication in the workplace. Don’t let your boss be a Jackal, become a Behavioral Ninja with The 5 Chairs.

The Jackal and Judgement

 Now, dear friends, let’s take a look at some judgments and evaluations and transform them into simple descriptions of observable behavior:

 a) Judgment: She completely ignored me in the meeting.

Description: She did not acknowledge or respond to my comments or presence during the meeting.

 b) Judgment: The deliveries are always late.

Description: The deliveries consistently arrive after the agreed-upon time.

 c) Judgment: He’s an idiot!

Description: He made a mistake or acted in a way that I perceive as foolish or unwise.

 d) Judgment: They never listen to us.

Description: They have not acted on or responded to our suggestions or feedback in the past.

 e) Judgment: My boss just doesn’t care.

Description: My boss has not shown any interest or concern in a particular issue or situation.

 f) Judgment: They’re inconsiderate.

Description: They have not taken into account the feelings or needs of others in a particular situation.

 g) Judgment: He doesn’t like me.

Description: He has not shown any positive or friendly behavior or interactions towards me.

 h) Judgment: She’s selfish.

Description: She has acted in a way that prioritizes her own needs or desires over the needs of others.

 i) Judgment: You’re totally irresponsible.

Description: You have not fulfilled or followed through on a particular responsibility or task.

What impact does the quality of these two styles of language have on you? How do

they both affect your thinking and feeling about the other person or the situation?

When we use factual rather than judgmental descriptions of people and situations, our

perception of reality becomes more accurate. This is useful because we can radically

Reduce:

 a) the risk of misinterpreting and misevaluating what we are experiencing

b) the likelihood of other people becoming hurt and defensive at our judgments

 This practice of describing ‘the’ facts, and not ‘our’ facts is at the centre of any conflict

resolution process. However it requires great vigilance. We are very quick to lapse

back into judgments and evaluations. We’ve had years of training in it!

What do I do if my Boss is a Jackal

 If you find yourself working with a boss who displays toxic behaviors and acts like a Jackal, mastering The 5 Chairs Method can help you effectively communicate with them and reduce the risk of misinterpretation and misevaluation.

 By using factual and observable language, you can describe their behavior without resorting to judgmental language. You can also neutralize their attacks by translating their judgmental phrases into neutral observation language or by asking them to provide specific examples to support their claims.

 Additionally, learning how to manage your emotions, regulate your attitudes and behaviors, communicate with clarity and impact, handle difficult conversations, share feedback constructively, listen with empathy, transform conflict, and cultivate better relationships can help you become a Behavioral Ninja and create a positive work environment.

 If your boss’s toxic behaviors continue to create a negative work environment, it may be necessary to escalate the situation to management or seek external support. However, by mastering The 5 Chairs Method and becoming a Behavioral Ninja, you can take control of the situation and work towards a positive outcome.

Don’t Sweat the Jackal

 By understanding The 5 Chairs and becoming a “Behavioral Ninja,” you will be better equipped to handle any type of interaction and navigate any workplace dynamics with confidence. Remember, it’s not about changing who you are, but rather about being aware of the different communication styles and adjusting your own style to match. With the skills and awareness to effectively communicate with any type of boss, you will be on your way to a more harmonious and successful work experience.

HOW TO BECOME A BEHAVIORAL NINJA WITH THE 5 CHAIRS INTRO COURSE 

 If you’re ready to become a behavioral ninja, The 5 Chairs Intro Course is for you. This highly innovative and widely-acclaimed self-paced video course is packed with 22 highly engaging videos, exercises, scenarios, and tips to help you become the master of any situation. The course covers a range of topics, from reducing toxic behaviors, to moving from judgment to observation, facts, and requests, to managing your inner critic.

 The 5 Chairs Intro Course is practical, memorable, and fun to learn. It’s based on simple, easily digestible concepts and metaphors that are suitable for all learning styles, and it uses rich sensory messaging to drive the concepts home. The course is also universal, crossing all cultures and generations, making it applicable to everyone.

 The benefits of taking the 5 Chairs Intro Course are many. People who have experienced the course report greater self-awareness, self-understanding, control of their behavior, resilience, and better relationships both at work and at home. It’s a truly transformational experience that will help you become your best self, and in turn, impact the positive evolution of your teams, organizations, families, and whole communities.

 The 5 Chairs learning journey leads to better self-reflection, self-awareness, self-management, self-expression, and self-actualization. It’s an opportunity to step up and take control of your life, your relationships, and your future. So if you’re ready to become a behavioral ninja in today’s combative workplace, enroll in The 5 Chairs Intro Course today.